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| DEAN'S LIST |
Pistons Put ‘Score’ Back in Scoreless
06-10-2004 |
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| Much like the '86 Bears, the Pistons are defensively "shuffling" towards history. |
It's about much more than Corliss. Detroit's defense isn’t just "Big" and "Nasty" – it’s downright offensive. Wallace, Wallace and the Pistons are putting the “score” back in scoreless. Somehow, Brown's bunch is shooting bull's-eyes and throwing blanks at the opposition. The 2004 Pistons are the best defense in playoff history on paper. But this year's Bad Boys aren’t simply the ’00 Ravens of the NBA – they’re the ’86 Bears. They’re a paradoxical redux of power and finesse, a miraculous marvel of individuality and teamwork...
Documented, the real Big men are paying for their “free” throws. Heading into game three of the Finals, Big Ben and the Big Daddy are shooting just 46.2% and 44.0% from the line, respectively. Wallace hardly ever converts a three-point play, but Shaq attacks in the clutch and makes the “and one” stand up. So forget about Hack-a-Shaq - Hack-a-Ben is the way to go down the stretch...
Yeah, the black bands on Big Ben’s biceps are intimidating. But what are they? Do they serve a purpose? Or are they only there to make the scariest man in basketball even scarier? If so, did he get them from the Ultimate Warrior? But wait - isn’t the Ultimate Warrior dead? That’s the rumor. So where exactly did he get them?
Like it or not, the old WWF revolutionized the nickname. The Ultimate Warrior was just plain silly. Hulk Hogan? Sweet. Macho Man? Tight. Hillbilly Jim? Hilarious. And don't forget The Animal. There may never be another George Steele, but the sports world could use another Animal...
Have you gotten tickets to see Blue Jerseys yet? It debuts this September at the Meadowlands, just a bridge and tunnel off-Broadway. Look for the barber (Tiki), the bachelor (Jesse Palmer), and the born-again Christian (Kurt Warner) to steal the show this year…
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| Seen here in his native "parts unknown," The Ultimate Warrior popularized bicep bands in the late 80's. |
But Jeremy Shockey doesn’t know his role - he has no character. Remember when Shockey called the ultimate man’s man a “homo”? Bill Parcells is a Giant legend. He won more Super Bowls in New York than Shockey caught touchdowns his rookie year. Parcells might be a sexist, a racist, and a Tuna, but he’s no fruit…
The name game agrees - Size does matter: Leonard Little…Torrance Small…Jumbo Elliot…Junior Seau…Shane Mack…Eddie House…Rita Grande…Brandon Short…Terrence Long…and Larry Bigbie…
Finally, the name of the game is Wardrobe: Ben Coates…Adrian Beltre...Sylvester Morris…Kevin Glover…Don Shula…Jennifer Capriati…Ty Law…Jordin Tootoo…Reggie Roby…Levi Jones…and Amani Toomer. I’m Dean Christopher… |
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