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| FEATURES |
I Swing The Bat Head Electric
By Dean Christopher
Date: 05-24-2006 |
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| The rarely spotted accelerated bat head. |
It’s no coincidence that Yankees third baseman Alex Rodriguez has been working with a mental coach for the past decade. The mental midget is, after all, the posterchild for “analysis by paralysis.” His mental mantra? “I hit solid with an accelerated bat head.” Once again: I hit solid with an accelerated bat head.
“And I've repeated to myself the same mantra at least 10,000 times over the years,” avowed the American League’s “Most Valuable” Player.
Of course, you have to wonder how all that repetition affects life at home with Mrs. Rodriguez.
Well, you'll be thrilled to know that Dean's List has acquired exclusive audio footage of one of the couple's recent dinner conversations.
A transcript of the exchange follows:
Cynthia: “Would you please pass the salt, Alex?”
Alex (to himself): “I hit solid with an accelerated bat head. I hit solid with an accelerated bat head.”
Cynthia: “Alex! Forget about hitting solid with an accelerated bat head for one second and just hand me the salt.”
Alex: “Why didn’t you just ask for it, honey? Here you go.”
Cynthia: “I did ask, Alex, but you were too busy blathering to yourself about accelerated bat heads to hear me.”
Alex: “I’m sorry, honey. It’s just that sometimes I get so psyched up about my swing that I lose myself in my mantra.”
Cynthia: “That’s OK, sweetie.”
Alex: “Hey honey?”
Cynthia: “Yes, Alex?”
Alex: “I want you to know that I love you.”
Cynthia: “I love you too, Alex.”
Alex: “And that I hit solid with an accelerated bat head.”
Tom Vourtsis contributed to this "report." Dean Christopher Chiungos is a fantasy baseball writer for MLB.com and an Eagle-Tribune columnist. Visit his MLBlog at www.deanslist.mlblogs.com. E-mail him at dean.christopher@deans-list.net. |
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